Freedom of Action - Trust cannot be compelled. We must feel that there are alternatives to giving our trust to another and thus increasing our vulnerability to that person.
Applying these criteria to your client relationships it becomes obvious
that trust in that relationship revolves around predictability. By the
nature of the client-lawyer relationship dependency exists and the client,
always has alternatives in addition to accepting the advice of counsel.
It is the lawyer who can influence the level of confidence the client
has in his predictions as to the behavior and competence of that lawyer
that will establish greater trust with that client.
The question begs, What can I do immediately to influence in a positive
way the confidence the client has in my capabilities and character? How
can I demonstrate to the client unfamiliar with my work - my competence?
It is here that you must start if you hope to establish greater trust and
consequently greater rapport with your clients, colleagues or other key
actors in your life.
For literally thousands of years mankind has been searching for models
that might explain and consequently enable us to predict human behavior.
Hypocrites spoke about temperaments - the melancholy, choleric, sanguine,
and so on. Carl Jung did considerable work on personality types in the
early 1900's and his work has been modified by David Merrill, Roger Reid,
Carroll Startle at Ohio State University and others.
By learning to identify the personality or social style of those with
whom we must communicate or negotiate we can modify our approaches to them
in such a way as to minimize the interpersonal blocks and conflicts which
stand in the way of the establishment of trust. The behavioral styles model
is a very effective tool in allowing us to do just that. The model below
suggests that there are four broad behavioral styles determined by two
key parameters - Expressiveness (E) and Assertiveness (A):
The Dreamer (High E, High A)
The dreamer is both assertive and emotionally responsive. Spontaneous,
outgoing and enthusiastic, they seek involvement with others and dislike
working alone. They usually exhibit high energy but may over commit. While
highly persuasive, the dreamer will tend to exaggerate or take too general
an approach.
The Supporter (High E, Low A)
The supporter is also expressive and people oriented but unlike the
dreamer may demonstrate lower levels of assertiveness. They tend to be
cooperative and seek close personal relationships. Slow in action and decisions,
the supporter dislikes and may seek to avoid interpersonal conflict, sometimes
at great cost. The supporter as their epithet suggests, is highly supportive
of others, but interestingly may have difficulty setting personal and professional
goals.
The Thinker (Low E, Low A)
The thinker is neither assertive nor expressive. Cautious in both action
and decision-making they seek organization and structure and are fact oriented.
The thinker dislikes involvement with others, preferring instead objective
task-oriented work. They are not the most creative people, but demonstrate
exceptional problem-solving skills.
The Commander (Low E, High A)
The commander is highly assertive but task oriented. They are strong
and independent, firm in action and decisions and demand control. Commanders
are both pragmatic and efficient but often have a low tolerance for the
feeling of others. They work quickly, decisively and impressively, but
they work alone. Their greatest strength lies in the administrative abilities.
Their focus is on the big picture and the bottom line.
There is no one single style that should be viewed as inherently better
than any other, however a particular style may be more or less appropriate
to a given situation or environment. Take the following brief quiz to determine
which style you tend toward. For each item put a number two in the space
provided if you generally agree with the statement. Enter a zero if you
disagree with the statement and enter a one if you feel you can neither
agree nor disagree with the statement.
Behaviour Quiz
1. 1 would rather work with people as a member of a team than work
alone.
2. My pace is rapid at work, fact and make decisions quickly.
3. 1 often show my feeling to those with whom I work.
4. When I disagree with a client or a colleague I generally tell
them so, even when they do not like it.
5. Being well liked and building good relationships is at least as
important to me as getting the job done.
6.1 have no problem saying no to my boss (or spouse).
7. In my practice, I often make decisions based more on intuition
than fact.
8. l am not afraid to make risky decisions at work and often do.
9. lam more outgoing and enthusiastic than most others in the office.
10. 1am more assertive than most of the people I work with.
11.1 consider myself to be feelings oriented.
12.1 drive myself and others to achieve organizational goals.
13.1 consider myself to be creative and imaginative.
14.1 stand up for my beliefs and opinions even though it sometimes
upsets others.
15. I consider my people skills to be better developed than my problem
solving skills.
16. At business meetings I speak more than most of the others in
attendance.
Scoring
Expressiveness: Add up all the odd numbered responses, then multiple
by 5 E =
Assertiveness: Add up the even numbered responses, then multiple
by 5 A=
To plot your behavioral style begin at the zero in the lower left-hand
corner and move up to the number you have for Expressiveness (E). Next
move across from that point to the number you have calculated for Assertiveness
(A).
By identifying your individual behavioral style and learning to accurately
predict the style of your clients and colleagues you can then modify your
behavior with, and approaches to, those people so as to build greater trust
and rapport with them.
The most toxic relationships, that is, the relationships where trust
is least likely to exist are the diagonals. Dreamer-Thinker or the Supporter-Commander
interactions. These combinations are the most difficult because the actors
have nothing in common in terms of style.
Imagine the dreamer lawyer trying to communicate or negotiate
with the thinker client. The client seeks specifics, wanting
to examine the nature of the down-side risk. The client wants to be careful
- to go slowly. She may have difficulty expressing the discomfort the uncertainty
causes her. Her demeanor is quiet, almost nervous. Her lawyer, on the other
hand comes on strong in the belief that he is instilling confidence but
rather he tends to overwhelm the client with his expressive nature and
his need to control. He may stress too much the positive aspects of the
thinker's case minimizing his client's concerns assuring the client that
her questions are either irrelevant or at least do not need answering.
Likewise, a difficult lawyer-client relationship is the one between
the dam-the-torpedos-full-speed-ahead commander and the kind, sweet,
emotive and gentle supporter. The commander is concerned with the
big picture and the bottom line while the supporter, in contrast, is concerned
with feelings and the impact that decisions may have on relationships.
Conflict exists between adjacent behavioral styles but it is never as
great as between diagonally opposed styles, because in the former case
the actors always have something in common.
Often one of the greatest challenges comes when two or more individuals
from the same quadrant seek consensus. Think of the three commanders holding
opposing views attempting to set policy at the partners meeting. Without
some predetermined pecking order bloodshed may result!
Building Behavioral Bridges
The following suggestions will lead to greater rapport and less interpersonal
conflict with each of the four styles.
Dreamer
Try to be fast moving and entertaining but avoid engaging the dreamer
in argument because this will lead to defensive behavior on their part.
Support the dreamers future oriented approach but also follow-up any important
meeting with something in writing. Remember the dreamer is not detail oriented
and often has many other irons in the fire. Do not involve the dreamer
too heavily in details when you are discussing ideas and in delegating
to them make sure they have a clear understanding as to what is required.
Supporter
Show a personal interest in the supporter and be a good listener. When
you disagree with them be sure to discuss feelings as well as facts. Set
specific goals in consultation with them, for as we have seen, one of their
greatest weakness is their lack of proactivity. Finally when it is necessary
to correct the supporter try to separate the conflict or criticism from
their persona.
Thinker
Support the thinker's thoughtful organized approach and be well prepared
for your meetings with them. Recognize that you will not convince the thinker
by admonition alone. Convince them through your actions Remember that the
written word has great impact on the thinker so put it in writing. Do not
rush them and in delegating to them take time to answer their questions,
for in so doing you are providing the structure the long for.
Commander
Provide the commander with actions and alternative for decision making.
Discuss and debate outcomes not procedures. Be precise and be on time.
Argue the facts, not your personal feelings and in delegating to them give
them the bottom line and get out of their way. Yes, provide guidelines
but do not be too specific in telling them how to accomplish the goal.
The behavioral styles model does not suggest that we should seek to
become human chameleons, but the rudimentary principle on which it turns
is that people tend to develop a higher level of trust and consequently
establish greater rapport with those who demonstrate social characteristics
and communication styles consistent with their own.
All models are by definition simplifications of the real world, but
few constructs can go as far as the behavioral styles concept in providing
avenues whereby we can reduce interpersonal conflict. In a profession where
so much depends on your ability to establish trust and rapport it can provide
a new and effective tool for enhancing your ability to work with people.
Past
Articles
Procrastination
- Overcoming Inertia
The State of the Boss/Assistant Union
